Years ago… I went to the beach with some friends. There was this huge 3-story dock in the middle of the lake. We all swam out to it. Everyone was jumping off or going down this huge slide. As soon as I got to the top… I froze. I COULD not go down that slide… there was no way.

As I stood up there, my friends looked at me with giggles. “It’s not that high.” TO ME it was the EMPIRE State Building. FOR REALS.

I stood there stuck. I can’t go. The lifeguard was like, “You can’t go back down the stairs, so you have to jump or go down the slide.” For about 20 minutes, my friends were coaxing me. “You can do it,” they’d say… Still frozen, I had to make a decision. Stay up there the rest of the day OR jump.

Two of my friends grabbed my hands and said, “We will jump with you.” So as we jumped off the side, instead of holding my feet together, I landed butt first. Underwater, I felt as if I was gonna die—no joke. I floated to the top with an instant bruise on my quads, and embarrassment stung within me.

But then I was like… “Hey, I survived.” I didn’t break. I might have a bad bruise, but I DID it!! 🙌

That moment taught me something I didn’t have words for until now: courage isn’t about having no fear…it’s about moving with it. I didn’t jump because I stopped being afraid. I jumped because someone stood beside me and said, “You’re not doing this alone.”

I think about this grief journey. We have certain people who are holding our hands and willing to jump into this life of grief with us. It doesn’t mean we’ll get through it without pain. We’re still going to feel the ache because we loved so greatly. The risk of love is losing it.

And the deeper the love, the deeper the ache.

But grief, like that jump, asks for a decision: stay stuck in fear, or move through it with trembling hands and a few trusted people beside you.

I never knew that one experience would bring me full circle to the life I have now.

Grief is messy. We’re not going to get through this without the pain we carry….bruises and all.

Holding the hands of each other is what is necessary. And often, it’s community…real, imperfect, a steady community….that holds us when we can’t hold ourselves.

So here’s a question for you……

What if the fear of jumping into the unknown is completely normal… and walking with your grief doesn’t mean leaving anything behind…. it means carrying all of you forward?

Hugs to you!!
See you Thursday!