Have you ever tried to untangle a necklace… At some point, the frustration feels like giving up. You might even put that necklace down because you are beyond frustrated, “How in the world did this get so tangled up?”

I feel that thought so strongly when it comes to life as it is. “How did this all get so tangled up?” How did this life turn out this way? “We were supposed to grow old together.” “How do I untangle any of this?”

When you try and untangle the necklace, you must take special care of how you are doing it… There’s no pulling or tugging because you don’t want to break the necklace… No damage here. Yet, deep inside there is a part of you that is like, “Why can’t I figure you out?” “What in the world happened to this necklace?”

Grief… Ahh, the same thing. What does it look like to be so gentle in this tangled mess? This fragile state we are in needs special care. Especially when these entangled feelings and the moments of pure exhaustion of trying, come over you… And tbh sometimes that’s right after you wake up. Am I right?

What I have learned is that we don’t have to figure out the grief necklace today. We can put it down and try again tomorrow. We don’t have to have all the answers right now, EVEN if you think, “BUT, you don’t understand… My finances… Or what do I do with the house… Or should I allow love back into my life?” All of these thoughts are just thoughts. You don’t have to figure anything out right now.

You, my friend, just like me, are still on the road of grief… Carrying it with us and allowing it to be a tangled mess of love.

What I imagine is that in the center of that beautiful tangled necklace is the love we have for our men. As if, there is a precious stone that is tangled up in this wad of gold or silver… We notice the stone in the middle, we aren’t trying to rip it off, we know how precious all of it is.

You are just going to take every day and do a little of the untangling, bit by bit. And as you do, you will see healing… You will see progress… You will see light again.

It seems like that is an impossible feat, I know… I know…Part of you is content with the necklace being a big wad of mess.. and that’s ok too. YOU don’t have to do anything with it today… one day, you will pick it up and you will want to take a whack at gently untangling things, not for anyone but you!

This morning, as I whispered to my Lew… I said, “I know you wouldn’t want me sitting here in this sorrow forever. You were always the guy who would say the phrase ”Every Day’s a holiday and Every meals a banquet” You my love, have given me so much of a gift of who I am today. You challenged me, stretched me, loved me, and you knew me more than I knew myself at times”

Now, I am slowly untangling the mess that this grief has been and allowing the me who is emerging because of our love to surface… With my beautiful sapphire…..your birth stone….

That stone carries the meaning of loyalty, wisdom, and truth… Qualities you lived with and passed on to me. That sapphire stays tangled in the necklace, reminding me that your love is still here, shining in the middle of my healing.

Grief may always feel a little tangled, but day by day, piece by piece, we untangle it… And we see light again.

💙 What part of your grief necklace feels most tangled right now?

Hugs to You!! The zoom link for this weeks session is in this email.