I was thinking about how holidays that come up seem so muted since our loss. I wanted to share this story with you.

It was my son’s birthday. We all felt the heaviness of the day.
The next day, I said to him, “You really powered through the day, son. Good for you,” thinking I was being encouraging.

His response threw me: “Hmm, I guess.”
It made me pause and really think.
What was I actually saying when I said “powered through”?
As if showing up without falling apart meant he had done the day “right.”

But what choice did he have?
I mean, really, Gina… really????

Even I don’t fully understand the depths of my children’s pain.
Their loss is something I can only witness.
I can’t know exactly how it feels for them.
And that’s okay.

It’s okay to show up with emotion.
It’s okay to show up at half-mast.
It’s okay to show up falling apart.

My son misses his dad.
There is no award for getting through the day.
We cried.. We laughed.
And still, we felt the longing for our old normal.
We longed for Lew.

My son knows his dad is with him in spirit.

But Lew won’t be there to see him get married, to hold his first child, or to watch him open his bakery.
He won’t be part of the next season of his life.
And that really hurts.

And yet, even in sadness, we keep showing up.

We hold space for both grief and life.

We don’t have to rush healing.
We don’t have to pretend everything is okay.
There is strength in feeling, in missing, in mourning deeply.

Emotions come in waves. That doesn’t mean something is wrong.

My children have taught me something through their grief.I don’t have to power through anything… I can sit with my grief and my sorrow and I can feel life around me. All of it is ok.

My children, will grieve the way they need to.
They don’t need me to fix it.
I can’t fix it. I never could.

Just like they can’t fix mine.

So if you find yourself in a season of grief, remember this:
You don’t need to power through.
You are allowed to show up exactly as you are,
And grief will show up as it needs to as well.

Can you offer yourself that kind of permission today?
To not have to be okay.
To simply be with what is.
We don’t have to carry our grief alone.

Below is the zoom link for you to join our sessions… Don’t be afraid to show up and dip your toe into community. I can’t wait to see you and meet you!