This morning my son mentioned something about Stoicism, Have you ever heard of it before? It sent me looking things up.

As I read, I found myself diving into the seven Stoic practices… and I was surprised by how familiar they felt.

Before I go there, I want to share a thought that I had,

When Lew died, there came this point in my grief where I cried out to God, “What is going to happen to me?”

Maybe you have cried out the same thought…

I felt like the life we had built, was painted in acrylics….solid, defined, clear. But the moment he died, it was as if someone dipped the canvas in water. Suddenly everything began to blur. the lines softened. The colors ran…..

Have you ever looked at a watercolor painting?

It almost looks like a dream right? It’s still beautiful, but softer, maybe a little muted, less certain, more fragile.

That’s what grief feels like for me.

The softness of love replacing the security of the picture I used to know.

And yet… I believe God knew I would be here, before the beginning of time…he set me on a path way before Lew died to dive into the brain and how it works.

He knew I would be standing on this ground, this sacred ground… with these questions, at this moment in time. And He knew I would be searching for the women who whispered the same question inside their spirit:

“What is going to happen to me now?”

That question is why I began creating things….like the gentle practices, tiny routines, instagram posts, and grounding steps that would help us rewire a brain that has been shocked, shattered, or unplugged from the life we once lived. It sounds simple, but it isn’t. When we lost our spouses, some part of the plug really was pulled out. Finding the right connector was going to take intention.

And this is why, when I stumbled on those Stoic practices, something in me said,
“Oh… I recognize this.”

Because I knew deep in my soul that I had a choice:
I could treat this grief as a death sentence, (which don’t get me wrong, I have had those thoughts… “I guess it’s over for my life now that my hero is gone”)
or I could cling to it as a lifeline.

Lew was my positive one.
I was the serious one.
He saw life as an adventure.
I saw life as a task. Instead of BE DO Have.. I was DO BE HAVE
He was raised by wolves. kind ones, but structure wasn’t their game.
I was raised by task masters. harsh and expecting results.
He had exposure.
I had rules.

He guided me, steadied me, reminded me and softened me:
“It all works out, babe.”

Now that he’s gone, I face this choice every day:
Do I shrink back, or do I honor him by living? Do I cling to his words?

Just yesterday, I hugged my daughter-in-law outside and whispered with tears,
“I don’t want to be a widow. I don’t want this story.”

And maybe you feel that too.

If you do… I’m so sorry. I hate widowhood for all of us….Truly.

But I also hope, as you read this, you feel something stir… the hint of hope that you are not alone. You are in a community of women who understand your story, your questions, your heart.

The painting might be water colored but it is still a beautiful picture of the life we got to experience

And if you want to take the next gentle step with us, here are two ways you can do that:
1. Join our next Grief + Me session
A safe room where you can show up just as you are.
Where your grief is honored, not fixed. The link is below

2. Explore the new Gentle Grief Guide
A gentle practices guide your thoughts to shift, they are a guide for you to practice daily.

I want to share the science behind why the gentle practices in this guide are so powerful. It comes down to your brain’s remarkable ability to change and heal, a process called neuroplasticity. When I started my journey is coaching I was fascinated by our brain.
Your brain was wired for partnership and wired for his presence.
Now, looking at this guide as a way to practice… yes, practice

Did you know when you are in grief it takes a daily practice to see change in your life?

It simple yet, it’s difficult to see a change by something so simple as… Mindful breathing, or becoming aware of your thoughts ( to name a few) … that seems so elementary right?,

BUT, if you allow a daily going back and listening and taking that meditation at the end to spend time sipping coffee or just letting your mind find space for new thoughts… you will in 30 days find that you are remembering what was said and possibly see something beautiful happen to your thoughts and even your nervous system. The invitation for you to find some sort of shift in this awful place called grief. Link here there is a drop down arrow here

Love and HUGS…
Gina