Dear Beautiful Widow Friends,
I did a post the other day about “Pity Parties” and how often we will say as if we have to say “Oh I felt sorry for myself today”. It just didn’t sit right with me.

I think if you maybe lose a job or maybe your bank account isn’t where you want it to be ok…. Pity party away, but for us… it’s different.

Sunday, I was scrolling through Facebook and I had forgotten that it was my twin brother’s anniversary. They were celebrating 40 years together and although I wrote “Happy Anniversary” and of course I wish them well.

Something just hit me, I won’t be celebrating any more anniversaries.

I felt jealous, angry and I felt a little sorry for myself.

I didn’t like the feeling or even expressing “I felt sorry for myself”. Like I was a victim. I didn’t like it one bit! So, I wanted to explore why that thought was bugging me. Here’s a few things I came up with.

A Pity Party suggests a weakness or indulgence, when in truth, grief is a profoundly human and necessary experience. You’re not “feeling sorry for yourself”

“You’re feeling, remembering, and missing.” excerpt from my post

I think, maybe because I live by the river, the idea of a wave crashing over us, gives me a place to put it. Not, “I’m feeling sorry for myself” BUT, to claim what it is, “Grief” and when I am hit by that wave, I can just calmly say, “Oh this is a grief wave”.

I can cry and let it out and then and only then can I reconcile myself to the realities that I am living a human experience. I miss my Lew and I miss my life and the realities of my new life is starting to come together but it doesn’t take away that I miss him and I would like to reverse time. It doesn’t take away that I have fear and yet, I feel an amazing amount of strength as well.

Grief, it’s a crazy thing, Right?

I hope this resonates with you ladies and you can claim the words of “Grief wave” or maybe it’s a “Soul Cry”, or just entering your “Grief Room” Whatever you want to call it, and may just maybe we toss to the curb “Feeling sorry for ourselves” or “Pity Party”

We are Grieving and Growing and Walking with our love.

Love you ladies

Below is the zoom link for you to join our sessions… Don’t be afraid to show up and dip your toe into community. I can’t wait to see you and meet you!