I typically don’t send out more than one blog post a week, BUT I hope you read this one…

I met with a woman today who is in charge of the widow support group at the church I’ve been trying to attend. As you know, walking into a church is hard as a widow.

Nevertheless, I asked to meet with her. I wanted to know about her ministry . So three weeks ago I messaged her and asked her to meet. She said she would get back to me… it took her three weeks to respond. Three weeks?

At one of our first meetings, I had asked if there was anyone who comes to speak. SHE said, “Oh no, the widows don’t want that.” I thought that was odd, but maybe everyone was fine with it. I’ve gone three times now, and every time I just think—this is strange. They just talk and fellowship, but no one talks about their loss. No one talks about the devastation of losing their husband.

In the meantime, I met a widow at the group who started following me on social media. She told this woman about my page and website, and she said: “YOU NEED to have GINA talk to our widows—she has helped me so much.” (Now, this is not me saying I’m so awesome lol… just sharing what she told her, to set the stage.)

Fast forward to today. I walked into the coffee shop, ordered my tea, and sat across from her. She opened with this (mind you, she’s never had a conversation with me and didn’t know why I wanted to meet—I only asked her for coffee)

Her:

“So, I’ve looked at your social media and your website, and one of our other leaders did as well… There is no GOD in your content.”

At first, I thought—shoot, why didn’t I get this in a to-go cup? But instead, I stopped her and said, “Well, That is kinda offensive because I didn’t want to meet about speaking to your group. I wanted to ask about your ministry and how you help widows.”

For the next hour, she told me they help widows but, honestly only if they ask for it. She said, “If they don’t come and ask, then we can’t know if they need help.” “I have told the widows over and over, if you need help just come and ask….”

Perplexed, I sat for a moment (my mouth must have been dropped) and finally said, “I don’t mean for this to be rude, but YOU aren’t a widow, so let me share something with you. A widow won’t come to you for help—she is wired for partnership. After losing her spouse, she doesn’t even know what she needs. And to voice that she needs help at all, makes her feel weak. She’ll feel like a burden. She feels alone, She and her husband partnered together, and now she’s trying to figure it all out all alone.”

She didn’t budge from her stance.

So an hour later of… “We are the greatest support,” I left so discouraged for the average widow. How alone so many must feel. It broke my heart deeply.

Yesterday, I put out a post about a course I’m doing, and I want you to know—IF YOU can’t afford it, I am here to work with you. NO ONE should go without support.

I understand how hard it is to voice that finances are low. I get it—truly I do. Please know that my heart is for you, 100%. And now, after meeting with her, I’m even more in love with you ladies.

This isn’t about me—it’s about US. WE are a sisterhood. We are here to love each other.

I had to share this story so you know: I am here to support you as a widow myself. I just happen to have a little more education on mindset and a deep love for how GOD has given us such a beautiful mind—even though our grief can suffocate us at times.

I am only opening 10 spots for this first round of ladies. If you want to be part of this, let me know. I love you dearly, and my heart is for you 100%.

From my heart to yours….

What you’re going through right now—
is the hardest thing you will ever walk through.
I know, because I’m walking it too.

I know what it’s like to lose the person you love—
and then have the world expect you to carry on like nothing has happened.

I know what it feels like when people quietly walk away,
hoping you’ll “feel better soon,”
while inside, your heart is still shattered.

I know the weight of moments so heavy,
you don’t even want to stand.

I know what it’s like to sit in a room full of people,
and still feel completely alone.

I know the fog that makes it hard to think,
hard to focus,
hard to even recognize yourself anymore.

Grief changes you.
The version of who you once were—
is gone.
And now you’re left to figure out who you are
in this new, unwanted reality.

But please hear me:
You are not broken.
You are not weak.
You are not a burden.

You are grieving.

Your love was limitless—
and so, too, will be your grief.

PS… the link for our session in Grief and Me is in this email. See you Thursday