Dear Beautiful Widows,
One of our dear sisters shared a video with me recently, and it stirred something inside me. It made me pause and think deeply about this strange, tender, messy thing we call grief—and more specifically, how we do grief.

I want to say first: thank you to the one who sent it. Your willingness to share opened the door for this letter.

There’s something I’ve been wanting to talk about, and this video gave me the nudge.

Sometimes, in this journey, we feel numb. And if I’m honest, there have been days I’ve questioned myself because of that. I’ve thought: Am I doing this right? Should I be more broken, more visibly sad? And then on other days, when I laugh or smile or show up in a video, I wonder: Do people think I’ve moved on too quickly? Do they understand how much I still miss him?

It’s so confusing. And exhausting. It’s annoying as well. Why in the world would I even question HOW I am grieving or how others perceive it.

And so, I want to say this out loud for all of us:

Emotional numbness is not failure. It’s part of grief. It’s one of the many ways our bodies try to protect us.

What I’m noticing is how many unspoken “rules” there are about how we’re supposed to grieve. There’s this silent pressure to look a certain way, to be “broken” enough or “strong” enough, depending on who’s watching. But who made those rules?

Grief isn’t a performance. It’s not something to be judged from the outside. And there’s no gold medal for doing it the “right” way.

What if the way you are grieving is already just right?

What if your smile doesn’t mean you’re okay. it just means you’re living with the ache instead of waiting to feel whole again?

There’s no one-size-fits-all here. Some of you feel ready to step forward. Some of you are still catching your breath. And some of you are just trying to remember how to eat and sleep.

Wherever you are today, I want you to know: you are not doing it wrong. I see you. I honor you. And I’m walking this road with you.

With so much love,
Gina

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